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The Other World Cup

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my few short years of wandering the Earth, it’s that it’s a pretty weird and wonderful place with a lot of cool and crazy stuff going on. Today’s Exhibit A: the U.S. Coffee Championships.

I don’t know whether to punctuate that sentence with an OMG or a WTF, but I do know one thing: next year, I’m going because coffee. And nothing but. For a whole weekend.

Yes, please.

I will be there for the Barista Championship, which involves “performances from professional baristas” and a competition where the best in the biz get 15 minutes to impress the judges with “a highly innovative, freestyle espresso-based beverage created by the barista for the competition.” Sign me up—I’ll help with the leftovers.

Maybe I’ll enter the U.S. Brewers Cup, a competition for manual brewing. Bring my gear of choice and try to impress by brewing my best. French press or drip? Fine grind or coarse? Decisions, decisions with the perfect cup on the line.

There’s also a Roasters Championship! I just want to know what that ballroom smells like during the roast-off. Gotta be heaven, right?

I could definitely do the Tasters Championship. They give you eight sets of three cups each and in each set one of the cups is not like the other two, and you have to pick out the odd cup while beating the clock. How much fun would that be? I mean I drink enough of the stuff so I ought to be able to tell my Dominican from my Kona. And of course, they’ll be naming the Coffees of the Year, and who wouldn’t want to wrap their lips around a hot steaming cup of all that?

It all sounds like one big mug of highly caffeinated fun with maybe a side of the jitters. Cheap, too because I won’t need a hotel room. (Who sleeps at a coffee championship?) Talk about cool beans. :-)


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